I’ve always had this idea about college. It was going to be the best four years of my life. I was going to join a friend group my freshman year and stick with them all through college. I was going to meet the man of my dreams, get engaged, and married right after graduation. I was going to build so many deep and close friendships that would stand the test of time.
Long story short, that didn’t happen. At all. Because through my time at college, I have been through more transitions than fingers on my hands. Whether it be going home to just come back again, going from one dorm to another, working multiple jobs or the shift in schedule from one semester to another, it’s impossible to get accustomed to the change. Just as you begin to get used to one schedule, the next day it changes again.
Not only does your schedule change, but your friendships do, too.
I look back to the friends I had freshman year, and it’s hard to believe how much things change. Orientation weekend I made two friends- Alex and Naomi, and I spent a majority of first semester with them. We got lunch and dinner together almost everyday, hung out on weekends, and even had a lot of our classes together. We were inseparable– for one semester.
Then we came back from Christmas break, and things changed. I started dating a friend of mine, who introduced me to his group of friends. “Fam,” we called ourselves, not unlike every other friend group on campus. These people quickly became my very good friends, and we spent a lot of time together. Most of us lived in the same dorm, and had similar schedules. We started eating lunch together often, and soon I considered these people to be my very best friends.
I still hung out with Alex and Naomi occasionally, but not nearly as often. Our schedules were just so different now.
Sophomore year came. Alex left Cornerstone. Naomi started dating a guy from work. My boyfriend and I broke up. Our friend group spread out across different dorms, and soon our time spent together was limited. I spent a lot of time with my roommate, and began playing dungeons and dragons with some others on campus, and soon I was meeting new faces and hanging out with people I never thought I would.
At first, I fought this change hard. I kept pushing others away, only wanting to spend time with that friend group. I knew that we were the best of friends, and that we were going to be friends all through college and after graduation. We had to be.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that we were drifting–
…and that was okay.
College friendships are based mainly on proximity, and each semester brings new people into your life, and friendships change. Sometimes, friends drift apart, and that’s okay. Times change. Because of these changes, I’ve met so many amazing people who have had such a positive impact on my life, and I’m so glad that it happened the way that it did.
And just because times change, doesn’t mean that friendships have to end. Something that I’ve been learning a lot about this year is intentionality. You have to try to maintain those other friendships, and it’s hard, but those friendships are worth it. I have that with my friend, Hannah. We get lunch together every Monday, and no matter how our schedules or classes change, we are intentional about that time we spend together, and it has helped to not only maintain our friendship, but grow it over these past three years. She is one of the friends that I cherish the most because we’ve put in that time to grow together.
It’s hard to be intentional, and it’s hard to be okay watching friendships fade. But this is what college is about;
To love and live like Christ.
Yeah. I’m good with that.